About Author: Steve Melton

Posts by Steve Melton

3

Plight of the Pudgy Gamer #4: Neglect

By
Steve Melton
– May 15, 2012Posted in: Features, PotPG

My poor Kinect is at this moment sitting with its head down, looking all depressed. It and I haven’t played together in over a month. Every once and a while it’ll look up at me as a walk by, but then go back into “sad mode” once I pass. (Okay, so technically it’s trying to calibrate to someone standing in front of it) I’ll have to dust the poor guy before I play with him next time.

To be fair, it’s not because I don’t want to. I was thoroughly enjoying my playthrough of Kinect Star Wars, and I recently purchased Forza Motorsport 4. I’m interested to try the Kinect features there. Nope, it’s due to having a new baby. He’s still on oxygen and monitors, having been born a preemie, so my wife camps with him on the living room couch, surrounded by tubes and cords. (Don’t worry, he’s fine, it’s just a precaution) That being said getting opportunities to play are few and far between. When I do it’s usually shorter stents, so I typically play XBLA games.

I can’t wait until I can buddy back up with my Kinect, who I shall name George. George looks cute, like a body-less WALL-E up there on the entertainment center. He’s my fitness coach, and I need to get back to the gym.

So, anyone else suffering from Kinect Separation Anxiety?

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1

Plight of the Pudgy Gamer #3: According to plan

By
Steve Melton
– April 20, 2012Posted in: Features, PotPG

So last time we talked I was on a mission to eliminate soda from my intake for three weeks straight. Well, my wife had our little baby boy seven weeks early and it threw a majorly wonderful wrench in our plans.

I did fairly well, though. It was on day 5 of week 3 when he was born, and though I wasn’t perfect I did cut my soda intake down to a third of what it was–that is until my son was born.

When a child is born sleep is at a premium. You might average four hours each night, and it’s broken sleep at that. So for about 10 days I survived on my old friend Mountain Dew. I’ve since dropped my intake back down, however and even though I wasn’t perfect I feel like my experiment was a success.

As far as exercising with Kinect goes I’ve been doing as much as I can when I can. Even though the critics have been rather tough on Kinect Star Wars (including our own Andy Tran’s review) I find that it’s great for being active. I don’t dare try the Dance Central knockoff mode, but flailing my arms like a Jedi with a lightsaber or rampaging like a Rancor is loads of fun and keeps me moving constantly. Podracing is also a lot of fun, but my arms get tired quickly. You have to hold them straight out to race, and the races are fairly long. I’m not the only one, either. My sister and her teenage son were wore out by it, too. I’m pretty sure by the time I can finish a longer, three lap race I’ll have huge arms. I highly recommend it if you’re a Star Wars fan, especially if you find it on sale.  You have to be able to laugh at Star Wars and not take it too seriously, but it’s loads of fun.

The above image is courtesy of my talented sister-in-law.

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2

Plight of the Pudgy Gamer #2: Goodbye, sweet nectar

By
Steve Melton
– March 12, 2012Posted in: Features, PotPG

Now I understand how folks become addicted to the drink, or more importantly how hard it is to break that addiction. I’m not talking alcohol. I’ve never touched the stuff. I’m talking about the sweet, sweet taste of soda. Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Mello Yello, Coke–I love them all.

I’m hooked; a little too hooked. So along with my Kinect report I’m putting my own commitment out there. I need to break the addiction, so (starting yesterday) I’m going three weeks without a drop of soda. After that I’m limiting it to restaurants and weekend game nights. I loooooove soda, but it’s so bad for you in the quantities I drink it.

On the Kinect front I *almost* found the perfect activity game for big folks: Rhythm Party. It’s like a watered down Dance Central. Instead of having to mimic every move your character does you simply have to have your hands and/or feet in the right spot at the right time. I don’t yet have the stamina to dance, but the slow, constant movement of Rhythm Party is enough to get my heart rate up to a nice, healthy level.

Now I said it was *almost* the perfect Kinect game for biggies. It’s got one major drawback: the song selection. While it has two songs I can have fun with (Bobby Brown’s “Every Little Step” and the 70′s classic “YMCA”) the rest of the soundtrack, including DLC, is either forgettable or downright awful. If this were a retail game with a better soundtrack I’d recommend it for any large-and-in-charge person, but the lackluster soundtrack ruins the experience.

So that leaves me high and dry again. Back to Fruit Ninja Kinect I go. I’m looking forward to Kinect Star Wars, where I’ll be able to romp around my living room as a rancor and smash things. Should be fun to do in the game as well. :P Check back in three weeks to see if I’ve lived up to my goal. In the meantime those looking to use their Kinect to get some exercise should check out our other Kinect fitness feature, Kinectercise.

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1

Happy Action Theater review (XBLA)

By
Steve Melton
– March 12, 2012Posted in: Reviews, XBLA Reviews

Happy Action Theater was developed by Double Fine Productions and published by Microsoft Studios. It was released February 1, 2012 for 800 MSP. A copy was provided for review purposes.

Double Fine Productions is a household name when it comes to Xbox Live Arcade games. Stacking, Trenched/Iron Brigade and Costume Quest are all titles that everyone should have on their machine. They’re all original properties; they were risks for both Double Fine and their publishers to put out, but each has succeeded. Now Double Fine wants to go out on a limb with their new Kinect title, Happy Action Theater.

The game itself is a collection of 18 minigames. Most involve players viewing themselves on screen with other digitized elements added such as snow, lava, or water. Players interact with objects in the environment such as balloons or fish to have them in turn react. There is no winning the game. It’s just you and the environment and acting like a fool. To some that sounds like fun. To others, well…

Read the rest of this entry »

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4

Plight of the Pudgy Gamer #1: The game plan

By
Steve Melton
– February 23, 2012Posted in: Features, PotPG

I wasn’t always fat. In fact, before I got my desk job I looked pretty good. I wasn’t from-the-showroom cut with abs, but I was thin and had muscle definition. Then I got married. You never realize how active you actually are until you don’t have to go somewhere to be with your girl. Then I became a desk jockey. I had worked blue collar all my life, so switching over was quite a shock. Now I’ve been married almost seven years, have a daughter that’s 2 1/2 and another one on the way. Daddy can’t be fat, so daddy bought a Kinect.

It’s funny, being pudgy. People who have never been big don’t know just how hard it is to lose weight. They’re like “run a mile every day and eat right”, but big people are that way from habits and addictions (or at least I am). I have to trick myself. Thus the Kinect. It’ll be there to keep me active, and that’s the first goal: increasing activity. I need to get to a point where I feel more energy before I can start doing the weight-dropping exercise otherwise I’ll kill myself. Nope, to start off I need something that fools me into thinking I’m playing a game while I’m actually being active.

So my plan consists of two stages: Get more active, then actually exercise and change my diet. First up is increasing my activity level.

I picked up a handful of Kinect games to get started, then downloaded every Kinect demo I could. Fruit Ninja Kinect has, thus far, been my staple of choice. I find that playing it for 30 minutes helps to make me feel like I’m doing something active. I typically sleep better, have more energy overall, and of course the endorphins released help me to actually feel good.

Now it’s time to look at other Kinect titles that could fool me into exercise. I’m staying away from true fitness games like Zumba Fitness. Why? Because fitness games aren’t made for fat people. They’re made for folks who already exercise every day, or those who at least are of the thinner persuasion. Fat people need to be tricked. I bought Sesame Street: Once Upon A Monster for my daughter. You know what? There are moments in there that are great for us pudgies, too.

I’ve made this a public affair for two reasons: first I want to have it out there so I have extra accountability. If I have to report in every two to three weeks it means I have to make some progress. Secondly I want this to be a “blog post of hope” — I’m sure I’m not the only one in this boat. So stay tuned, comment, suggest games, and maybe report back on your activity. See you in a few weeks.

(That’s not me, by the way. I haven’t got that big.)

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